Countdown to Halloween Day 19: Anthologies - Creepshow

Welcome back everyone! Today I'm back on the anthology theme, and this time I'm talking about horror classic: 1982's "Creepshow," written by Stephen King and directed by George A. Romero! 

I want to preface everything I say in this article by giving you some personal background: I saw Creepshow for the first time as a pretty young kid. I remember my mother and my aunt always watching a lot of horror movies around me, without much regard to what I was taking in. Ultimately, as an adult I am thankful for this now... but back in the day I just remember the dread this movie put into me. I was sent outside to play by myself after having a complete meltdown during "The Crate" but came back inside very quickly after realizing how terrified I was to be alone outside after having seen the lion's share of the movie. With all that being said, I do have a certain level of nostalgia for this film. I know I was subjected to it more than once growing up, though nothing rings clearer in my head than that first viewing. I've watched it a couple of times as an adult, but it has probably been over a decade since my last viewing, so this time, with my 15 year old daughter it was nice getting caught up with the stories again. 

Something that I always forget about this movie is that the framing story is supposed to be sometime in October. Probably not Halloween night itself, but there's a Jack O' Lantern in the front window of the Northrup family's home. This little detail made me smile and love this movie all the more. I never knew that the kid in the framing sequence was actually Stephen King's son, Joe "Hill" King! Billy is a kid you just know is going to be trouble... but MAN he has an awesome room! After Billy's dad lectures him, slaps him, and tosses his Creepshow comic book in the trash, Billy starts colluding with this guy:

The Creep! The creep is really well done here, and the transition from live action to animation is not a bad one at all, considering the comic-booky feel of the entire movie. Having seen Creepshow 2, I definitely feel like they fail to do the transitions half as well there as they did in this first one.

Of course the first story in the bunch is "Father's Day" where we get the famous line "I WANT MY CAKE!!!" But I forgot how fun this one actually was! I honestly expected to be a little bored during this viewing, but with only maybe one exception I'll mention later, I found the whole movie to move along at a nice, brisk pace, to do a great job building suspense, and to instill a great sense of ghoulish fun into all the stories. I was thinking I was going to have to "tolerate" this movie but then ended up having is cemented in as one of my all-time favorite anthology horror films.

Of course everyone remembers the big finale of this one, with the frosted head on a platter, but there are so many great flourishes, so many nasty, biting insults and one-liners being tossed from one snobby, self-absorbed family member to another, and so many creepy little moments leading up to the end that I think this one gets remembered for the wrong things sometimes. 

"The Lonesome Death of Jody Verrill," injects a lot of goofy humor into a story that is equally horrifying and just plain sad. We laugh at how much of a dufus Jody is throughout, but the feeling of loneliness and defeatism throughout just makes us sympathize with the sad sack as we watch him being swallowed up by extraterrestrial weed-growth. 

King's performance here is certainly not oscar-worthy or anything, but he does exactly what the character needs to do, and that is humanize him. We get the feeling that Jody's a bit of a man-child, and when we see him at the end, getting ready to take his own life, it feels like the first mature decision he makes through the whole short. I'm probably giving this WAAAY more thought and analysis than I should be, but this viewing really, REALLY made me appreciate this movie more than I ever have!

"Something To Tide You Over," feels like one of the weaker entries in the lot, though not by a whole lot... I think the only reason it really feels that way is that it goes on for a bit longer than it should. They could have sped up the story and ratcheted up the tension a bit more by getting to the beach a bit faster in the first place. Once Leslie Nielsen plants Ted Danson in the beach and leaves him there, I would like to say things speed up a bit, but we just get waaay too may shots of both Becky and Harry getting splashed in the face with sea water before we finally get to the pay-off. And then watching Richard wander around his house for a while and talk to himself seems to drag a bit before we finally reach the conclusion.

This is probably the only story that could have done with a good trimming. I would have liked to have seen some sort of return to the framing device in the middle of the film, kind of checking in on Billy somehow at this point in the film. That would have made the time to do so. This is also the story I had the most problems with because I don't genuinely believe there was anyway Ted Danson couldn't have broken free from that sand. Sand isn't cement. Even if "You can't get leverage!" as Richard tells Harry at one point, you can certainly wiggle around, and use your chin to clear room, and I just don't believe you could trap someone so permanently that way. If he was in that tight he would have suffocated long before he drowned. I... don't hate this story, there were just reasons it felt a little less awesome than the others I guess.

My absolute favorite story in the bunch has to be the 4th story, "The Crate" which terrified me the most as a kid. I think that in and of itself has a lot to do with why I like it so much. As a kid monsters under the bed or in the closet, or under the stairs are very powerful ideas. And the creature from The Crate (referred to as "Fluffy") is such a clear, visceral embodiment of all those fears that it just resonates.

I also love the characters in this story. Everyone from Dexter, the stuffy professor who very nearly loses his mind as he watches two people get chowed-down on, to Henry, the suffering husband who keeps fantasizing murderous endings to his relationship with his boorish wife Billy. The characters are pretty fun and you end up liking to two professors more than you probably ought to, all their vices considered.

There's just nothing I don't love about this one, folks. From the effects to the story to the acting, it all just gels. It doesn't bother me nearly as much as it used to as a kid, but there was something about watching the janitor getting dragged slowly up into the overturned crate to be devoured that still gave me a nasty case of gooseflesh. Ugh. 

The final tale, "They're Creeping Up On You," was never one I was all that nostalgic for, but boy do I appreciate it more now! This claustrophobic, germophobic, katsaridaphobic little story, about a corrupt businessman who has tried to hermetically seal himself off from the outside world, actually has a lot more going for it that I remembered. Mr. Pratt is an old bastard who uses his money to hurt others, while tucking himself away safely in his supposedly germ-proof apartment. Until the roaches show up to take a sort of karmic revenge on him. It clips along at a pretty brisk pace, and the tension builds nicely, using something as simple as the appearance of scurrying cockroaches in a sterile, white environment to kind of help us visually gauge how intense things are getting. As the roaches begin to reach critical mass and we know Pratt's time is short, it gets a little panicky for the viewer as well.

The ending sequence, as you watch Pratt's body erupt with cockroaches is hard to look at, even knowing that it's a practical effects dummy and not a real body. 

Finally we fly back to the framing story where we find that the garbage men cometh and the Godfather of Gore himself, Tom Savini, and his cohort Marty Schiff have snagged Billy's comic book and are poring over it. Interestingly enough, they notice that you can no longer send for the mail-away voodoo doll, because someone has already clipped the order form. I wonder who could've...

Oh wait, it's Billy. Never mind. It all makes perfect sense.

And of course, who is the intended victim but good ol' Dad (played by horror alum Tom Atkins)? The film ends on a happy note, and we all walk away a little wiser for it.

As I said before, I was very impressed with how much I got out of this viewing! It holds up very well for what it is, a schlocky, campy, comic-book influenced horror anthology. There are a few late-70's early-80's moments here or there that date the film for sure, but overall, those are nothing distracting whatsoever. I can safely state my love for this film and yell it from the rooftops because this little baby really does a great job.

Well that's it for tonight kids! I'll be back soon with some Gristly Goodwill Goodies! So until then, Happy Haunting!

Remember, I'm doing this countdown as a part of the official Countdown to Halloween, so be sure to pop over there and look and see who else is participating this year.

Countdown to Halloween Day 7: Anthologies - Tales From the Darkside the Movie!

Welcome! Today we're back into horror anthologies! And I want to focus on one of my very favorite portmanteau films of all time: Tales From the Darkside the Movie! This came out in 1990 and features a bevy of talent both behind and in front of the camera. 

This one has it all folks, it is just a CLASSIC in every meaning of the word. From the three stories themselves to the wrap-around story that holds it all together, there aren't many ways I can think of to improve upon this one. From this point on it should be noted that SPOILERS are in full effect. If you've never seen this one and want to be surprised by the stories (and that just might happen!) then stop reading now, go watch the movie, and come back!

The casting on this film was just AMAZING, let me just start off by saying. In the wrap-around story we have none other than Deborah Harry as a suburban witch who cooks little boys up for dinner parties! She's extremely blasè about the whole affair, which is a bit distressing for Timmy, the paperboy she has locked in a cage in her pantry. Timmy decides to try and Sheherazade his way out of being cooked by distracting the witch with stories. Thus, we get the three tales contained in the movie.

The first tale is "Lot 248" which is based on an Arthur Conan Doyle story (yes, the Sherlock Holmes guy!) and stars Christian Slater and Steve Buscemi in a tale of supernatural revenge. You see Buscemi's character has been framed for a theft he did not commit so that he would lose out on a scholarship. He wants revenge on the ones who framed him (who happen to be the sister and friend of our main protagonist, Mr. Slater) so he does what anyone might do, and gets himself a mail-order mummy which he animates and uses as his murderous slave.

The mummy succeeds in killing the twerps who framed Buscemi, but fails to kill Christian Slater, who in turn discovers the mummy's weakness:

Modern appliances! Slater takes down the mummy, and ALMOST takes out Buscemi... but has a change of heart at the last minute. Which is too bad because...

Buscemi reanimates Slater's sister and friend and sends them after Slater. We are to assume this does not end well for our hero. What I LOVE about this movie is that it is unapologetically a creature feature from one end to the other. They don't go too left field with ghosts or demons or any kind of nonsense that feels really out of place. They manage plenty of smart twists and turns and some great moments of pure genius that make these classic-feeling monster stories really shine.

Debby Harry is rather impressed with the stories as well. She does indeed let herself get distracted with each tale, and she gets annoyed with Timmy, and with herself for doing so. But it doesn't stop her from listening again and again...

The next tale is a Stephen King story adapted by George Romero. There was a lot of buzz that this film was originally intended to be another Creepshow follow-up but they went a different direction. I don't know anything about that honestly. I do know that "The Cat From Hell" is my least favorite of the three main stories featured in the film... but man if THIS is the weakest tale, then we're in good shape. Basically Buster Poindexter is hired by Dr. Finklestein to kill a cat that is picking off people that have profited from using cats as test subjects for a pharmaceutical company. Pondexter is a hit man who agrees to the odd job, and goes after the cat with gusto and panache. BUT...

This happens. The cat climbs down Buster Poindexter's throat, waits for Dr. Finklestein to come back to the house...

... and then coughs himself up like a murderous furball.

He jumps up in Dr. Finklestein's lap (this is actually famous character actor William Hickey, who did indeed voice Dr. Finklestein in The Nightmare Before Christmas) causing him to have a fatal heart attack. It's a pretty cut and dry tale of an evil old man who is besieged by a murderous, vengeful cat and hires a hitman to take care of the problem, only to have said hitman... invaded(?) by said cat as a sort of "surprise I was hiding in the cake!" kind of moment that kills the old man. You know like you hear about on the news from time to time.

I can only assume that at this point the cat went off to kill an evil gnome living in Drew Barrymore's baseboard.

The stove isn't quite ready yet, so Timmy takes a stab at another story. I'm not really sure what his end game is here though (I mean, there's the way things play out at the end of the movie, obviously, but I don't assume that was his plan all along) because it doesn't really matter how long you keep a hungry witch distracted with bedtime stories... she's still got you in a cage in her pantry. It's not even like he's running out a particular clock to save his life... he's trapped. But anyway...

The last story in the trio is my absolute favorite. I think Lot 248 comes in second place, and The Cat From Hell comes in third (unless you count the wraparound, in which case, The Cat comes in last) but this final story, "Lover's Vow" is just so poetic and artful and twisted and gorgeous to look at and tragic to think about... it has it all. This one's a gargoyle story. James Remar is a struggling artist who witnesses a demonic gargoyle kill someone in an alley near his apartment building. The gargoyle spares his life on the condition that he never tells anyone about the gargoyle. Remar promises to keep the secret and the gargoyle lets him go.

Remar meets the beautiful Ray Dawn Chong and they become a couple very shortly after his encounter with the gargoyle. His life takes a turn for the better. They marry, have some kids, and he becomes a mush-less-struggling-much-more-successful artist. They live it up real good.

Then Remar does something incredibly stupid, but necessary for the story to work. HE TELLS HIS WIFE ABOUT THE GARGOYLE. He shows her drawings of what it looked like, and even a FREAKING BUST HE SCULPTED OF IT. And surprise surprise, his wife turns out to BE the gargoyle. She reverts back to her gargoyle form and so do their precious little darling children:

Baby... Ruth?

The gargoyle kills the guy even while professing her love for him. But a pact is a pact no matter how tragic the consequences of breaking it. Them's the breaks. Honestly though, I have always LOVED this story. It is so deliciously tragic and the perfect kind of story for Tales from the Darkside. What makes it even worse is that the guy breaks his promise out of love! Love for the very creature he made the promise to! When faced with the mummies and gargoyles of this movie, can you blame me for being a little less impressed by the killer cat?

Debby Harry realizes that Timmy, the little jerk, has distracted her almost to the point where she won't be ready for her dinner party! She makes a few fatal mistakes that would have Julia Child spinning in her grave, and the tables get turned, Debby takes a rack of HUGE needles to her back, and she ends up getting Hansel-and-Gretel-ed into the oven by Timmy. That smug little jerk then eats a cookie as he smiles at the camera and walks out.

This is one of my all-time favorite anthology horror films. It just has it all! It has a perverse sense of humor, it has art, and it feels like real effort was put into making it a good movie. If you've never seen it before, check it out! If you haven't seen it in a long time, check it out! If you love this movie and watch it every other month or so, check it out! You'll be glad you did!

I'll be back soon with more Grotesque Goodwill Goodies! So until then, Happy Haunting!

I'm doing this countdown as a part of the official Countdown to Halloween, so be sure to pop over there and look and see who else is participating this year.

Goodwill Finds: King Kong, Star Wars, and More!

Welcome friends! I have such sights to share... So without further hyperbole or ado, let us begin. 

Here we have the entire haul in one shot. So let's dig in, shall we? Let's get a closer look at all this stuff.

First up, a Sly and the Family Stone Greatest hits compilation. I love, Love, LOVE 70's funk music, and Sly and the Family Stone is one of the greatest bands to come out of that era (for me anyway, I'm not going to pretend to be a music historian by any means). But there are SO many great songs on this cassette you guys.

Terry Pratchett has passed away in the time between me buying these books and writing this post. I still have a hard time processing this. Mr. Pratchett's stories are just so good, and full of wry humor, and life, and heart, and genuine warmth, and a sharp eye and tongue directed at everyone and everything equally. It is hard to believe he's gone now. Hard to believe the door to Discworld will be permanently closed and that what we've got is all we've got. But that's life I guess.

I don't even ponder whether or not I should pick up Terry Pratchett books when I see them. They never disappoint.

This is my second of Stephen King's crime thriller stories under the Hardcase Crime banner. I still haven't read Joyland either. and now I have The Colorado Kid to add to the pile. That's sort of my M.O. though, right? Always adding to the pile?

Speaking of... here's a copy of Blackbeard's Ghost with the Disney movie cover, which is technically not a novelization... but is close enough. It's about a ghost pirate. C'mon now.

This is where I picked up my copy of Garfield's Thanksgiving! This is the comic adaptation of the TV special, and as usual, there are a slight, strange variations in there. I've never been as much of a fan of the Thanksgiving special as I am the Christmas and especially the Halloween special... but it's still right up there. We watch it religiously every year.

THIS GUY. I mean whoah. This is am Imperial Toys King Kong toy! I love finding classic imperial toys at Goodwill. Nothing brightens my day in quite the same way. This toy is so cool. This was definitely the highlight of the trip. Everything else is downhill from here I'm afraid.

Which is really too bad, because all I have left is this big grab-bag full of toys...

And here are the contents. Let's get with the closer look already!

Included in the bag were a BUNCH of Mega Bloks pirates mini figures. The majority of these are just okay in my opinion, but there were three truly stand-out figures in the bunch:

And those three are right here. First of all, we have a skeletal pirate. I'm no stranger to this line, as my daughter picked out one of the mini skull playsets for me for father's day back when these were a brand new thing (maybe 7-8 or more years ago?) so I'm no stranger to how neat-o cool these can be. Starting on the left we have the skeleton, and then the pirate captain, with a peg-leg, ring in his beard, and an eyepatch. Finally, we have arguably the very best character of all: Some sort of witch doctor islander with scary eyes, a rooster comb, and a skull painted on his face. I love these things SO MUCH.

There were also a couple of random LEGO mini-figs in the mix. Not 100% sure who these guys are or what they're from. I ended up giving them to my son.

Also given to my sons to play with were these half-dozen Star Wars Attactix toys. I'm not into the prequels so I didn't want any of the clone troopers, and I honestly didn't care about the Tie Fighter pilot either. Nothing says fatherly love like handing over a pile of toys that fire tiny hard projectiles with alarming force to a couple of young boys who can barely go 5 minutes without getting into a fight.

Also in the bag was this broken Electro figure. He's sad, so we won't talk about him anymore.

What was NOT given over to my sons? These guys. Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader figures that both ended up on my Star Wars collection shelf. There's a lesson in here somewhere about father/son relationships... but for the life of me I couldn't tell you what it would be.

Moving on.

This thing.

It was in the bag.

Don't know what it is, what it comes from, what it's for.

There is a grey pressure plate inside it, that when pushed, snaps the whole thing shut. Sort of like a trap... but it doesn't really scream "IT'S A TRAP" like you-know-who. Mainly because there's also what appears to be some sort of handle-bars inside it as well. So part of a vehicle maybe? I've been trying to investigate this for a while... and still nothing. It's baffling. If you know anything about it, let me know in the comments below.

UPDATE: This toy belongs to a Robots (as in the animated film called Robots) playset. Mystery solved.

Well kids... that's it for tonight! I'll be back with more Geeky Goodwill Goodies soon enough! But until that happens, Happy Hunting!