Monday, November 12, 2012

League of Extraordinary Bloggers: What if...?

Hey kids! It's League of Extraordinary Bloggers time once again!

This week, our topic is this:

So what story would I give the What if...? treatment to? I kept thinking, and I kept thinking... and one story kept springing to mind. It's a story that I would have gladly rewritten myself if given the chance:

But honestly starting to write, I think I just kept trying to fix all the problems I had with LOST, instead of exploring any unexplored avenues of storytelling. And WOOF were there some problems to fix. So... never mind. I want to have some fun, and explore some untapped storytelling. Like... What if the X-Men lost Inferno? So I'm losing LOST and I'm going for something more funtastic!

So my next random idea was this: 

Gremlins Movie Poster

See my big idea after the jump!

What If The Gremlins WON?

Yeah... I know. I. Just. Blew. Your. Mind. 

But seriously... what if the Gremlins attack had not been contained in its early outbreak stages back in Kingston Falls? What if Billy and his family (and his whole hometown for that matter) all succumbed to the initial attacks by the super-reproducing Gremlins? With the Peltzer family digesting in the bowels of several hundred Gremlins... there is no one to stop their spreading from their small town and into the rest of the country. 

Happy days are here again!
You think a zombie apocalypse is devastating? Try creatures who reproduce when they come in contact with the one substance that takes up more than 70% of the earth's surface... makes up more than 80% of the human body, comes from almost every faucet in every house in the world, and separates every major land-mass humans call home. Sure sunlight kills them, but vampires seem to get by just fine. 

They don't stand a chance actually.
Set them loose in Alaska and its 30 Days of Night: Pint Size edition! Caves, tunnels, hell even just staying inside houses and other structures during the day is enough to keep them from combusting. They seem sleepless, tireless, and always motivated to destroy and consume. Hell, I can think of one place in ever major population that is dark, and full of abundant water to both help them breed, and protect them from the harsh rays of the sun:

We... may beed to relocate. 
Imagine a world where every sewer is boiling over with angry, evil, Snow White loving, malicious-humored, heavy machinery operating creatures that want to eat you. Try going to the beach. Imagine one Gremlin hitting the ocean. The OCEAN people. That's no tidal wave blotting out the sun... that's a massive tsunami of teeth and claws and bad disposition waiting to crash down on you. 

Glub-glub motherf---er. 
Imagine a devastated world where Gremlins have taken over everything, and we are below them on the food chain. Not so "black-humor" anymore, amirite? How could we possibly combat such an invasive species that reproduces so quickly and exponentially? We couldn't. That's how. We'd have to hope for help on high. And 
when I mean on high... I mean: space. 

Here comes the clean-up crew!
Of course, when the Gremlins are gone... you're still getting eaten.
Imagine it: What if... the Gremlins met the Critters? 

Logically speaking, you guys are f---ed.
That's pretty much it for me guys. I wish I could put a bit more effort into tonight's post, but I'm pressed for time. 

As of the time of this writing, there has only been one other League contribution: 

- Chrisloc1701 over at Random Nerdness does a What if...? where George Lucas started at the start instead of in the middle. He put waaaaaay more thought and effort into his entry than I did. 


  1. It would just take one rain storm

    1. Hell, it would take just one light drizzle... One light mist... One mud puddle. Where besides the desert ISN'T there water?

  2. A war between Gremlins and Critters would've made me wet my pants when I was younger. Still would now, come to think of it.

    Throw some Ghoulies in there too! Like the Critters solution didn't work, so a black mass is held to summon the Ghoulies to take care of the problem? Anyway to get graboids involved as well?

    1. Graboids ? Now you're talking my language!!! I like the way you think.

  3. Gotta hope they attack in the winter, I'd be safe up here in the Buffalo winter!!

  4. Have you... seen... Gremlins?

    What I never understood was how the snow didn't get the Gremlins wet.

  5. I don't know if it was intentional or not, but you get bonus points for the TMNT reference since in that movie, Raphael goes to the movies to see Critters...

    Holy shit what if The Gremlins AND Critters both existed in the same world as the TMNT? Now I'm blowing my own mind here.

    1. The amount of crossovers the TMNT have done, I'm surprises that hasn't been done already!


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