More Vintage Kid's Books!

So it seems some days like I find more vintage kid's books than ANYTHING at Goodwill. Here's another pile I brought home from the Bangor, ME Goodwill. I'm going to do some posts in the future where I revisist some of the cooler finds I've made, and check out the interiors. But for now, let's just look and see what I brought home, shall we? This entire stack of books came home from one trip, and every book here cost me .99 cents apiece. 

Leotards!

I'll start with this Space Hawks: Faster Than Light Choose Your Own Adventure Book from 1991. Apparently this was the first in 6 books that shared a continuity about space-pilots fighting alien threats. As with most CYOA I find, it looks fun and I plan on giving it a spin. 

Educational!

It wouldn't be a Goodwill Geek post without a handful of Little Golden Books, right? So here's the first one, an old Geography themed LGB that I bet parents FOUGHT over at the book stores back then because their child's Christmas would just not be complete without it. I bet thousands of Mall Santas got requests for this one. 

I f**king WANT his car.

It also wouldn't be a G.G. post without something from Sesame Street. Combined with LGB, this one is like a hurricane of childhood glee for me. This one loosely follows the events of "Follow That Bird".

The Midget Elephant Caper

One of the most exciting finds of this trip was this Insepctor Gadget Little Golden Book! I was disappointed to see there is crayon damage on almost every page of the book in varying degrees. I picked it up anyway because, hey... Inspector Gadget. 

No idea what this is about. Sorry.

I also picked up this bizarro LGB-knock-off. It's from the line of Treasure Books. searching for these online, I believe the spine would have originally been in solid red. I don't know if mine is faded or peeled off. 

I always like finding weird knock-off brands of LGBs to go in my collection, like the Rand McNally Elf Book I found back in April at the same Goodwill. 

Back alley Decepticons? Sounds dirty.

Here we have a Transformers Big Looker Storybook from 1986. "Car Show Blow Up". It's a post Transformers the Movie tale, as it stars Ultra Magnus and Hot-Rod, and features Galvatron as the leader of the Decepticons. Basically the premise is that the Decepticons need to steal human technology from a car show to teach them how to build robots (???) to build a city for them. Not their most shining moment.

Mmmm. Yes. Work that stroller.

I don't know if anyone remembers my thoughts on Ms. Pac-Man from my League post: Ultimate Arcade... but let's just say I felt like I needed to tuck this book between the others I found so I wouldn't get dirty looks for carrying straight-up PORN around the Goodwill. 

More porn.

I'm not sure why ALF is wearing his shirt from the animated series on the cover of this book, because it is based squarely on the sitcom version of the character. It takes place on Earth where ALF spends the entirety of the book naked. And yes, there is a bit of romance between ALF and the anteater.

Add funny caption later. No one will see this.

A Ducktales book! "Webby Saves the Day" is a weird, out of continuity tale where Scrooge's 3 nephews come live live with him and the Beagle Boys invade the mansion. And... well... Webby saves the day. 

Here are a couple of books that originally included read-along albums to play. The Muppets Take Manhattan and the Rankin and Bass adaptation of the Hobbit. That's all I really have to say except that the Hobbit was a favorite of mine as a kid. I don't know if I saw it aired on TV or if we rented it... but Gollum made me terrified and I LOVED it. That is still the Gollum I will always know and love over the Peter Jackson version. And Piggy's sweater there is pretty terrifying too. 

I feel a little cheated because only two
of the family members pictured here are actually
WEARING Cosby sweaters.
What the hell is Claire wearing? A robe?

This was probably my ABSOLUTE favorite find of the lot. The Cosby show scrapbbook from 1986! It's full of interviews and behind-the-scenes stories about each actor and character. I remember The Cosby Show was THE show to watch when I was a kid. I remember the days when they played The Cosby Show and Family Ties back to back and that was the night I was allowed to stay up and watch both shows with my family. This was a wild find for me. Don't judge. 

No this is not an issue of Disney's Gargoyles.

And finally, I know it's not a kid's book, it's a comic book based on a Horror property... so pretty much as far from kid's book as possible... but I got it in the same trip. The NOW comics Fright Night series! And for a change it wasn't priced 1.99! Just the same .99 cents as the other books I picked up. Still a little high for quarter-bin style comics... but oh well.  The writing and plot of this series were terrible, but that didn't stop me from loving them. We get to see Evil Ed in action as a vampire force to be reckoned with, and the resurrection of Jerry Dandridge! (Um... spoilers?)

What I really loved finding were these ads for other NOW comics that I want to go back and find!!! Good ol' Ralph Snart!!! The Terminator? Married With Children? Green Hornet? Speed Racer? TWO different Real Ghostbusters titles? Bats, Cats, and Cadillacs? I'm there!

A pretty great set of books to bring home between Inspector Gadget, another CYOA, ALF, a cheesy Transformers books, The Cosbies, and.... -shiver- Ms. Pac-Man... I was pretty happy. 

Welp. That's it for me kids. I'll be back soon with more Geeky Goodwill Goodies! Until then Happy Hunting!

The League of Extraordinary Bloggers: What a Nightmare!

Well it's League of Extraordinary Bloggers time once again! Seems like I just did one of these... doesn't it? 

Last week the topic was "I Have a Dream..." so of course what are we following up with? 

"What a nightmare!" 

When I think of nightmares... I think of my childhood in the 80's. I remember vividly as a young scamp being allowed to be "around" when my mom and my aunt were watching horror movies. Weird thing is, the would choose all hours of the day to do this. They would watch movies like Nightmare on Elm Street at noon in the summer time. And unless I wanted to be locked outdoors I was usually either watching too, or off in another room still able to hear the horrific action. I was exposed to SO many inappropriately terrifying movies as a child. I think I'll run down the list of the most traumatizing moments I was exposed to and then at the very end of this post I will detail to you the most memorable, vivid, and terrifying nightmare I had as a ten year old child. I still remember almost every detail of it to THIS DAY. 

So here are just some of the images that fueled my nightmare factory as a child.

1-a. The Stretchy Arms Scene from Nightmare on Elm Street Pt. 1

There wasn't much that didn't upset me about Nightmare actually. But this scene and a couple of others really stood out. Looking at the effects they use in this scene nowadays just kind of makes me cringe in an embarrassed way... but back when I was a kid this was just mind-numbingly horrifying. The first movie had very little on-purpose camp to it. It was deathly serious and used dream-logic to scare the audience, not to make wry puns or slapstick kills. Watching this shadow man's arms reach out and out and OUT just made me feel like there was nowhere I could possibly safe. 

A spring! A spring! A marvelous thing! Everyone knows it's Slinky!

1b. ANY scene with Tina in a body bag in Nightmare on Elm Street.

This is the only time I will be dedicating a whole entry in this list to a different scene from the same movie. But dammit I NEED this one to be singled out on here! Any time Nancy would dream of Tina after she is brutally (and TERRIFYINGLY I might add...) murdered by Freddy, she's in her body bag... either soaked in blood... or pale and spitting up centipedes. A girl's gotta have options... I guess? Seeing Tina zipped up in a giant plastic bag in various states of death and distress was extremely mind-altering for me.

-Burp-

2. The Faceless Bounty Hunters from Critters

I personally think it's ironic that in this movie about carnivorous aliens the pseudo-heroes are the things that disturbed me the most as a kid. These guys are only faceless for a very short while... But It's that weird, pale, wet smoothness that just gets under my skin. There's this terrible sense of foreboding to them until they get their disguises on a short while later. It really climbed into my brain in a real way too, as I will explain later. 

Do NOT poke these dough boys in the belly.

3. The Chatterer from Hellraiser.

This guy is just a mess. Hellraiser was a sickeningly disturbing movie for me to glimpse as a child. I get that my mom was pretty progressive in letting me watch whatever I felt like I could handle... but I should never have glimpsed even an IMAGE from this film at that age. There are a good half-dozen moments, creatures, kills, visuals, etc. that I had stuck in my head for a long while after. Chubby cenobite Butterball is no child's fantasy of warmth and comfort and Skinless Uncle Frank running through the house, bleeding through all his outfits was distressing as well. But the Chatterer takes the cake. He's disturbing in the way the bounty hunters above are, in that weird, amorphous fleshy way... but turned up to 11. With the lips peeled back and the teeth clicking away... ugh. The Chatterer is the reason why characters like the fluke man from the X-Files and the Master from Buffy the Vampire Slayer have been some of my favorites. 

"You have Kool-Aid mouth."

4. "Fluffy" the Crate monster from Creepshow

Again, Creepshow is another movie that I clearly remember about a DOZEN disturbing moments from. The Caaaaake! Drowned, blue Ted Dansen coming back as a water-logged zombie... Steve King blowing off his head when he's covered in alien vegetation... All deeply traumatizing. But this terrifying ape-like creature from the crate under the stairs just absolutely wrecked me. I think the fact that he goes unseen for a good portion of the story is what really got me. He kind of embodies the nebulous threats that come from places like the closet or under the bed. And the fact that he was dragging full-grown adults kicking and screaming into his little hidey-hole just made it that much more horrifying. I was forced to go and play outside for large portions of this film (which was even more terrifying BY MYSELF in rural Maine...) because I kept jumping up off the couch and screaming my fool head off. 

"I am the one hiding under your stairs...
fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair!"

5. Whatever the F**K this guy is from From Beyond.

I have never gone back and watched From Beyond as an adult. I remember it being so deeply mind-altering to me as a child that I have never been able to bring myself to do it. And I LOVE HORROR MOVIES! (In fact most of the movies I take scenes from on this list are favorites of mine as an adult) I remember a LOT of body horror, a LOT-LOT of skull-tentacles... and a LOT-LOT-LOT of smeary-faced people eating parts of other people. This movie makes a barbecue rib eating contest look like tea with the Queen. I didn't know what it was (still don't!) that had gotten inside that guy's head to poke that weird feeler out... but I knew it made me desperately uncomfortable. (Another one that I always get confused with this is "Brain Damage" which has a lot of horrible imagery in line with this film as well...)

Nope.
Just no.

6. Almost EVERYTHING from Night of the Creeps... but if I had to pick one: This guy.

Yeah, Night of the Creeps was just wrong on so many levels. As a kid I knew that leeches infesting your brain until they made your head explode was a bad thing. The fact that as a side-effect they zombify whatever bodies they've infested, be they living or long, long dead... just made it all so much worse. This is the reanimated corpse of a serial ax-murderer who was himself murdered 20 years or so before the story takes place in the film. He spiced things up a bit, that's for sure. Zombies terrified me from a very young age anyway, and this guy did nothing to help that. 

A zombie with an ax and alien leeches in its brain.

Not overkill at all.

7. The face-peeling scene from Poltergeist.

Everyone always seems to remember the clown and killer tree scenes from poltergeist. Me? All I remember is the guy from the paranormal investigative crew who has the vision of himself tearing off his own face. Well... that and the slimy skeletons popping up in the muddy pool-hole. That was pretty messed up too. But watching this guy strip off his face like the skin off the back of a Thanksgiving Turkey will ALWAYS stay with me. 

Damn. Now I just want turkey.

8. Again... a LOT of stuff from the Prince of Darkness... but forced to choose: This chick.

Yeah... she nasty. There were so many new concepts to learn about from this movie! Possession by demonic forces for one. The scenes where this scabby-faced woman would reach into mirrors and enter a murky, dark-water-filled realm that imprisoned the Prince of Darkness also freaked me deeply. It's honestly one of the reasons why I have such a hard time going swimming in the local lakes and ponds around here. All I can picture is some eczema victim reaching her crusty hand in and pulling out a monster. The whole movie deals in disturbing concepts. People being devoured internally by bugs while they talk in creepy voices... The big black guy singing as he stumbles around... Even just watching people getting squirted with the evil fluid from the big green tube was scary. 

That stuff sure wasn't Oil of Olay.

9. The closet monster from HOUSE.

It was partly the same reason that "Fluffy" from Creepshow above freaked me out... same kind of "monster from the unknown" concept... but then look at this thing. Part of it was that you knew this creature brought madness with it when it came out that door. I understood that it was defying logic whenever it showed up. That closet was normal one moment... and then it contained this slimy green mess of sinew and bone and teeth and snot, all asymmetrical and insane the next. It represents the polar opposite of everything children take comfort in. I heard more of this movie from the upstairs of my house than I actually saw... but seeing this guy and the big fat-lady monster was enough to send me squealing from the room more than once. 

Not the be confused with Mike Wazowski.
Different department at Pixar.

10. Big-Mouth Amy the vampire from Fright Night.

I look at the effects from the end sequence of the 80's Fright Night film these days and I'm forced to chuckle. But back when I was a kid? Seeing Amy in this state sent me over the edge. I felt like I was going to fall completely into her bottomless, gaping maw if I just leaned too close to the TV. I remember my mother, frustrated, explaining to me that it was actually just a "dark comedy" over and over again and that I just needed to calm down. I didn't see the difference. I didn't see the "dark comedy" difference when we went to see "An American Werewolf in London" at the drive-in either. My reaction to Fright Night got me banned from watching almost all of "Vamp" when she rented that. 

"Black Hole Sun... won't you come..."

So there are my 10 most emotionally disturbing horror movie memories from childhood. Or whatever. Now what that was all leading up to was this: 

The Worst Nightmare I Have Ever Had

I was around 10 years old and I was spending the summer with my grandmother in North Carolina. I was playing with my action figures in her upstairs hallway. I can see myself sitting on the floor up there, just totally oblivious to anything else in the world. I am looking down at myself from the top corner of the room... like an out-of-body experience or whatever. What I can see from my vantage point up by the ceiling, and that the other me playing on the floor can't is that the door to my grandmother's bedroom is slowly sliding open behind me. The room is pitch black. And then a figure steps out of the doorway, very slowly and into the hall behind me. The figure is clothed in all black. A solid black body suit. It reminds me of the cenobite gear from Hellraiser. But the head and face are completely blank like the faces of the bounty hunters in Critters. I want to warn myself that someone is there, but I can't make myself talk to the me on the floor to tell him. I am trying desperately to move, to reach out... to do anything. I watch in mute, growing horror as the me on the floor slowly stands up. The faceless man hasn't moved from the spot just outside my grandmother's bedroom door. He doesn't move at all. The me that was playing on the floor is now standing, and turning around slowly. The faceless man moves now, but only to step to the side. He's letting the other me walk slowly past him into the dark bedroom. I disappear into the darkness. I'm still watching all this from the corner of the ceiling. Then the man seems to look up at me there by the ceiling, and then he follows the other me into the dark, and slowly shuts the door. As the door shuts, I am suddenly slammed into my body... the one that is now in the darkness with the faceless man. And I start to scream. 

That was when I woke up. 

Let's see what's disturbing the slumber of the other League Members shall we?

- Chrisloc over at Random Nerdness had a similar idea for his nightmare post, as he recounts some of the move moments he remembers as a kid that gave him nightmares! 

- Ashley at Life With Fandom recalls a vivid nightmare involving a Russian invasion!

- G.I. Jigsaw lived out a real-life nightmare!!!

That's it for me today kids! Come back soon because I'll be showing off some Geeky Goodwill Goodness! Until then, Happy Hunting!