Back to School!

I was wracking my brain trying to figure out what I was going to write for this week's League of Extraordinary Bloggers assignment.

Summer’s over, it’s time to go back to school! (Interpret it as you will.)

Gravedale High fanart by Makinita on Deviantart

Then I thought... hmmm... it's been a long time since I've gone to school. If I were to go to school nowadays, WHO would I like my teaching faculty to be comprised of?

See my staff after the jump!

So, here's my fantasy draft of teachers for my dream school:

1. Principal. Any school needs a kick-ass Principal to keep the school afloat, and Fantasy High (I'm still working on the name...) is no exception. This one seemed really easy at first, but I didn't want to pull Dumbledore or Professor X out of the hat and use up my Harry Potter and X-Men slots right away. So my choice for principal would be:

Robin Wood

Principal Wood showed up in the final season of Buffy as the principal of the newly built Sunnydale High. SPOILERS!!! He turned out to the son of a slayer and is the only principal to actually survive the TV series. He was a romantic interest for Buffy and could almost hold his own against vampires as well as the slayer. He's a bad mother-fu(shut-cho mouth!) I'm just talking about Principal Woods.

2. Science. A science teacher needs to be passionate about the topic, and passionate about relating the subject matter to people who may not "get it" the way he or she does. For this reason I would pick the bombastic: 

Dr. Henry McCoy

Beast! He's charismatic, empathetic, and loves him some science. I don't care if we get the ape-like beast, the feline beast, or just the plain old big-hands-big-feet beast... he's a great guy, and a great professor in any case.

3. Math. Even more than science, math gets students glaze-eyed and head-scratched. It needs someone who understands it inside and out... so I pick:

Will Hunting

Will Hunting because... well because... well, he'd probably be a shit teacher actually. He's kind of an emotional prick who needs to be taught how to be a human being by Robin Williams' character. I basically just picked him to work in a Goodwill Hunting reference... on Goodwill Hunting 4 Geeks. But he's so good at math its algebraic!

4. Language Arts. Well, a reading/writing teacher needs to have passion too. Again, language arts can leave students glazed and dazed. So I pick: 

John Keating

Professor Keating. With a real vivacious passion for words, reading, poetry, and waking young people up to these concepts, Keating is the very best. Plus I need him around to keep Will Hunting in line. 

5. Gym. This category needs to be mastered by someone who knows how to unlock the secret potentials hidden deep inside each and every student. So... I came to a tie. 

Mr. Miyagi

Yoda

Both Yoda and Mr. Miyagi have a talent for giving their students tasks that confound and confuse them, while also teaching them their own potentials. While Mr. Miyagi has the students waxing his car, Yoda will calmly let them know "There is no try, only do."

6. History. The only history teacher I could find online who kicks so much as that history becomes a living, breathing, death-defying adventure is... 

Indy was the dog.

Professor Jones. Can you argue with this? Can you? Is there a better guy to teach you the history of everything? I don't think so. 

8. Transfiguration. This was a hard one. I mean, tranfiguration has to be ten times harder than any of the above topics... and finding a really talented teacher in this field in FICTION is even harder, but after some deep digging on the internets, I found a teacher that I would have preferred to have teach me Transfiguration (what was your Transfiguration teacher like?) when I was in high school:

Minerva McGonagall

McGonagall turns out to be one badass of a teacher, and fiercely loyal to her headmaster, students, and school. She goes all mama-bear on the bad guys and leaves a lasting influence on her student body. 

I see a lot of lists online of favorite fictional teachers, so I'll spare you the Music Teacher from School of Rock, or the Economics teacher from Ferris Bueller. Dumbledore and Professor X show up on most of those lists too, so I just don't want to to go there. 

Instead, I'll just finish up with the bus driver and leave you to your internet browsing: 

Otto Man

Other members of the League took different approaches to interpreting this week assignment:

- ShezCrafti talks about a song that brings back school-related memories (and TMNT)
- Reis, our Lord of the Lair of Dork Horde, discusses his Return of the Jedi school days. 

- Hobgoblin, over at Monster Cafe... went personal... and musical. 

- Michael over at Memories of Toymorrow, shares a painful back to school truth that has haunted him his entire life. 

- Brother Midnight from Green Plastic Squirt Gun shows us every lunchbox he had... ever. 

- Jamie waxes poetic about buying school supplies in Whatever I Think Of